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Ello founder Todd Berger, in an interview with The Guardian

UGH.

(via ashleyeleigh)

I don’t know why you say Ello, I say Good-bye!

coolchicksfromhistory:

Merit-Ptah circa 2700 BCE
Art by J Bea Young (twitter, tumblr)
Merit-Ptah is the first woman known by name in the history of science.  Little is known of her life, but according to the tomb her son created for her in Egypt, Merit-Ptah was “the chief physician.”
A handful of physicians are known by name from this early period and there is some debate over the exact timeline.  Merit-Ptah’s life likely overlapped with that Imhotep, the man most often considered the first named physician in history.  Another male physician, Hesy-Ra, is believed to have lived at around the same time as Merit-Ptah and Imhotep.  Peseshet is sometimes named as the first female physician, but she is likely at least a generation younger than Merit-Ptah, Imhotep, and Hesy-Ra. 
Peseshet was referred to as the “lady overseer of the female physicians” during the Fourth Dynasty of ancient Egypt.  This shows there were a number of female medical professionals working in Egypt 4,600 years ago.  Peseshet is believed to have been involved in gynecological and obstetrical training at the ancient Egyptian medical school at Sais.  An inscription at Sais gives insight to the training of early medical practitioners: "I have come from the medical school at Heliopolis, and have studied at the woman’s school at Sais where the divine mothers have taught me how to cure disease.”

coolchicksfromhistory:

Merit-Ptah circa 2700 BCE

Art by J Bea Young (twitter, tumblr)

Merit-Ptah is the first woman known by name in the history of science.  Little is known of her life, but according to the tomb her son created for her in Egypt, Merit-Ptah was “the chief physician.”

A handful of physicians are known by name from this early period and there is some debate over the exact timeline.  Merit-Ptah’s life likely overlapped with that Imhotep, the man most often considered the first named physician in history.  Another male physician, Hesy-Ra, is believed to have lived at around the same time as Merit-Ptah and Imhotep.  Peseshet is sometimes named as the first female physician, but she is likely at least a generation younger than Merit-Ptah, Imhotep, and Hesy-Ra. 

Peseshet was referred to as the “lady overseer of the female physicians” during the Fourth Dynasty of ancient Egypt.  This shows there were a number of female medical professionals working in Egypt 4,600 years ago.  Peseshet is believed to have been involved in gynecological and obstetrical training at the ancient Egyptian medical school at Sais.  An inscription at Sais gives insight to the training of early medical practitioners: "I have come from the medical school at Heliopolis, and have studied at the woman’s school at Sais where the divine mothers have taught me how to cure disease.”

Review: “Without Bloodshed,” by Matthew Graybosch

Description:

“All who threaten me die.” 

These words made Morgan Stormrider’s reputation as one of the Phoenix Society’s deadliest IRD officers. He served with distinction as the Society’s avenger, hunting down anybody who dared kill an Adversary in the line of duty. After a decade spent living by the sword, Morgan seeks to bid a farewell to arms and make a new life with his friends as a musician. 

Regardless of his faltering faith, the Phoenix Society has a final mission for Morgan Stormrider after a dictator’s accusations make him a liability to the organization. He must put everything aside, travel to Boston, and prove he is not the Society’s assassin. He must put down Alexander Liebenthal’s coup while taking him alive. 

Despite the gravity of his task, Morgan cannot put aside his ex-girlfriend’s murder, or efforts to frame him and his closest friends for the crime. He cannot ignore a request from a trusted friend to investigate the theft of designs for a weapon before which even gods stand defenseless. He cannot disregard the corruption implied in the Phoenix Society’s willingness to make him a scapegoat should he fail to resolve the crisis in Boston without bloodshed. 

The words with which Morgan Stormrider forged his reputation haunt him still.

And my comments:

This is a complex story, definitely not a casual read, blending science fiction and high fantasy.  The year is 2112, and prog-rock and metal enthusiasts will find lots of references both obvious and obscure. It has been roughly 50 years since an event called Nationfall, and a shadowy organization called the Phoenix Society both funds individual city governments and protects individual rights. Their enforcers, the Adversaries, can be thought of as judge, jury and (often enough) executioner.

Working in the background are alien beings called devas, ensof, or flowseekers (who was what seemed a little muddled at first, but one of the sequels will resolve it all when it’s time). The devas have god-like powers, although they’re clearly from another world and Clarke’s Law applies. If gods they are, then they’re gods in the Greek fashion—they lust, love, and fight amongst themselves to further their own agendas.

Morgan Stormrider, the main character, is one of a group of “asura emulators”—a sort of superhuman created by one of the ensof for the purpose of wielding the Starbreaker, the only weapon that can destroy an ensof. Although his identification is tattooed on the back of his neck, he seems to be the only asura ignorant of what he truly is. Stormrider is both an Adversary, semi-retired, and a musician in Crowley’s Thoth. The three members of the band are involved in a love triangle, and the story opens with one of the members being murdered in an attempt to frame the other two. As the murder takes place in London, Boston experiences a coup d’etat and Stormrider is assigned to take down the usurper—without bloodshed. Ironically, the other surviving member of Crowley’s Thoth (and Morgan’s love interest), Naomi Bradleigh, is also a retired Adversary and a strong and worthy character in her own right. The story twists and turns, with Stormrider and other Adversaries joining forces to put down the Boston coup, while the devas both help and interfere behind the scenes.

As I said, this story is complex, with a world that hangs together pretty well. I did wonder how technology would continue to develop through a disruption like Nationfall, but breakthroughs happen. People have implanted smartphones, AIs that act as major domos, and gigantic genemod house cats (and there are a few LOLcat references for the cat lovers). I thought the writing could have been tightened up overall, and that kept me from getting immersed in the book, but that’s the publisher’s responsibility. For me, books live and die by their characters, and these were people I got to care about.

The important thing is, I’ll get the next book when it comes out. If you’re a student of rock, like women who are ready to rumble, and want great characters, you’ll like this.

New superhero comic, Spark!

bettersupes:

image

Hey, everyone! This is the creator of Little Girls Are Better At Designing Superheroes Than You, here with a post I thought you all might like. Writer Ted Anderson and I have made a pitch for a superhero comic!

The comic is about nine-year-old Lucia Marquez-Miller, who loves engineering, and uses her telekinetic powers to build and take things apart with her mind. She calls this power her spark!

As Spark, the world’s youngest superhero, she’s a junior member of a superhero team while also trying to live a normal life. Can Lucia juggle her friends and family while also saving the world from supervillains?

We’re posting a 15-page standalone comic here on tumblr to give readers an idea of what the book would be like.

image

image

image Click “read more” below to continue reading the comic!

Read More

FREEKING. AWESOME.

Review: The Necromancer’s Apprentice, by Icy Sedgwick

4/5 stars - a fun, dark novella! Grab it at Amazon, in paperback or for Kindle.

Blurbage: Though Jyximus Faire lives in a crumbling tenement in the Underground City, he escapes the squalor daily to attend lessons in magic and sorcery at the prestigious Academy in the City Above. But the pace isn’t fast enough for Jyx. He wants to learn everything – and he wants to learn it now. 

Then the dread necromancer general Eufame Delsenza sets her sights on Jyx; she needs a new apprentice, and Jyx fits the bill. When she tasks him with helping to prepare royal mummies for an all-important procession, he realises this might be a chance of a lifetime. 

Will Jyx’s impatience lead to him taking his education into his own inexperienced hands, and can a necromancer’s apprentice really learn to raise the dead – and control them? 

Nobody writes mummy stories like Icy Sedgwick. A perennial contributor to #FridayFlash, her story “No Flash” is still my favorite long after she posted it. So when she said she was going to write a Sorcerer’s Apprentice story, and replace the brooms with mummies, I was ready to grab it on Launch Day.

And it did not disappoint, even if I didn’t get around to writing the review right away. It’s dark, the way I like dark, with a little hilarity along the way.

Icy likes complex characters with multiple (even contradicting) motivations, and Jyximus Faire is certainly that. He’s from a poor district of the Underground City, attending the Academy on a scholarship. He’s proud, verging on arrogant, but wants to help his family. And most of all, he wants to learn as much as he can as quickly as he can. He jumps at the chance to become the apprentice of the Necromancer General, who can get his family out of the squalor of Benefactor’s Close with a word. If you’re familiar with the Sorcerer’s Apprentice story, you can guess what happens next.

The only flaws are flaws if the story ends here and there’s no sequel. The ending all but says more is to come, and I hope it’s soon. One of the other students at the Academy, Markus Prady, is one of the few who wants to befriend Jyx. I just feel he has more to say than what we’ve seen so far.

So if you want something other than the worn-out vampires and zombies, I’d highly recommend this one. And now I wait patiently, hoping for a sequel…

farmanor:

faboomama:

lnkdroptheory:

radempressofsass:

delicately-interconnected:

teafortrouble:

steampoweredcor:

thewintersoulja:

frappemako:

the-one-inside:

someottersmarryhedgehogs:

noiselesspatientspider:

iheartuniversecookies:

angelas-extrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 
….
Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.Hilda looked at him expectantly.“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.
….

DICK
ANEURYSM

GALLOPING ABS

Who told this lady she could write?

Why did she ever stop?

IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG

i fukcing lost it at meat wand

This is the best thing I have ever read

This stuff. This, right here, is inspirational.
No, I’m serious. I’m not even making a joke right now. Whenever you feel down about your writing, or when you feel like you’re not good enough, just remember:
Books like this get published ALL THE TIME. Yours can too.

Straight people you nasty

what are galloping abs and how do I get them?

I just. I just. LMAO “I need you sexually” LMAO omg

Snooch.
Snooch?!
I’m in tears just from the 5 uses of ‘wet’ in one paragraph.

This reads like the distorted fantasies of a 12 year old who has been sneaking peeks at Internet porn. What. A. Trainwreck.

I’ve since learned that this “excerpt” is a hoax. As an author, I find this the lowest blow ever, lower than leaving negative reviews without reading the book. Write a parody of erotica, or any other genre you’re not fond of, that’s not a problem. The faked excerpt was hilarious as a standalone passage, and it’s still pretty funny. But when you attach it to one author’s book cover, that’s a HUGE problem bordering on slander.Worse, I let my own biases about erotica and traditional publishers get in the way of double-checking this before joining the dog-pile. Even if the phrase “dick attack” really is in the book, that doesn’t justify writing a parody and labeling it anything but (anti?)fan fiction.I owe Sandra Hill an apology. You just don’t do that kind of crap to people. Leave a negative review if you didn’t like the book, and explain the problems you had with it, that’s fine. A good author can learn from mistakes and improve the next book. But to put an author’s name on a deliberately crappy parody is WRONG.

farmanor:

faboomama:

lnkdroptheory:

radempressofsass:

delicately-interconnected:

teafortrouble:

steampoweredcor:

thewintersoulja:

frappemako:

the-one-inside:

someottersmarryhedgehogs:

noiselesspatientspider:

iheartuniversecookies:

angelas-extrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 

….

Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.

Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.


Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.


As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”


Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.


“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”

At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.

Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.

Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.

Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!

The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.

She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”

But her bed was empty.

Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.

….

DICK

ANEURYSM

GALLOPING ABS

Who told this lady she could write?

Why did she ever stop?

IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG

i fukcing lost it at meat wand

This is the best thing I have ever read

This stuff. This, right here, is inspirational.

No, I’m serious. I’m not even making a joke right now. Whenever you feel down about your writing, or when you feel like you’re not good enough, just remember:

Books like this get published ALL THE TIME. Yours can too.

Straight people you nasty

what are galloping abs and how do I get them?

I just. I just. LMAO “I need you sexually” LMAO omg

Snooch.

Snooch?!

I’m in tears just from the 5 uses of ‘wet’ in one paragraph.

This reads like the distorted fantasies of a 12 year old who has been sneaking peeks at Internet porn. What. A. Trainwreck.

I’ve since learned that this “excerpt” is a hoax. As an author, I find this the lowest blow ever, lower than leaving negative reviews without reading the book. Write a parody of erotica, or any other genre you’re not fond of, that’s not a problem. The faked excerpt was hilarious as a standalone passage, and it’s still pretty funny. But when you attach it to one author’s book cover, that’s a HUGE problem bordering on slander.

Worse, I let my own biases about erotica and traditional publishers get in the way of double-checking this before joining the dog-pile. Even if the phrase “dick attack” really is in the book, that doesn’t justify writing a parody and labeling it anything but (anti?)fan fiction.

I owe Sandra Hill an apology. You just don’t do that kind of crap to people. Leave a negative review if you didn’t like the book, and explain the problems you had with it, that’s fine. A good author can learn from mistakes and improve the next book. But to put an author’s name on a deliberately crappy parody is WRONG.

faboomama:

lnkdroptheory:

radempressofsass:

delicately-interconnected:

teafortrouble:

steampoweredcor:

thewintersoulja:

frappemako:

the-one-inside:

someottersmarryhedgehogs:

noiselesspatientspider:

iheartuniversecookies:

angelas-extrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 
….
Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.Hilda looked at him expectantly.“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.
….

DICK
ANEURYSM

GALLOPING ABS

Who told this lady she could write?

Why did she ever stop?

IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG

i fukcing lost it at meat wand

This is the best thing I have ever read

This stuff. This, right here, is inspirational.
No, I’m serious. I’m not even making a joke right now. Whenever you feel down about your writing, or when you feel like you’re not good enough, just remember:
Books like this get published ALL THE TIME. Yours can too.

Straight people you nasty

what are galloping abs and how do I get them?

I just. I just. LMAO “I need you sexually” LMAO omg

Snooch.
Snooch?!
I’m in tears just from the 5 uses of ‘wet’ in one paragraph.

This reads like the distorted fantasies of a 12 year old who has been sneaking peeks at Internet porn. What. A. Trainwreck.

faboomama:

lnkdroptheory:

radempressofsass:

delicately-interconnected:

teafortrouble:

steampoweredcor:

thewintersoulja:

frappemako:

the-one-inside:

someottersmarryhedgehogs:

noiselesspatientspider:

iheartuniversecookies:

angelas-extrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 

….

Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.

Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.


Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.


As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”


Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.


“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”

At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.

Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.

Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.

Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!

The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.

She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”

But her bed was empty.

Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.

….

DICK

ANEURYSM

GALLOPING ABS

Who told this lady she could write?

Why did she ever stop?

IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG

i fukcing lost it at meat wand

This is the best thing I have ever read

This stuff. This, right here, is inspirational.

No, I’m serious. I’m not even making a joke right now. Whenever you feel down about your writing, or when you feel like you’re not good enough, just remember:

Books like this get published ALL THE TIME. Yours can too.

Straight people you nasty

what are galloping abs and how do I get them?

I just. I just. LMAO “I need you sexually” LMAO omg

Snooch.

Snooch?!

I’m in tears just from the 5 uses of ‘wet’ in one paragraph.

This reads like the distorted fantasies of a 12 year old who has been sneaking peeks at Internet porn. What. A. Trainwreck.

madebyabvh:

Original illustration by Tom Gauld

YES. THIS.

satanic-capitalist:

I did, years ago. No regrets.

havehope-betrue:

THIS NEEDS MORE NOTES.


BMW owners take note!

havehope-betrue:

THIS NEEDS MORE NOTES.

BMW owners take note!